My Tunnel
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Been a tiring week for me... I'm exhausted..mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted...
But, insyaallah.. still trying to move on...
Sharks.. these assignments, projects, deadlines, and tests... arghhh... gettig the better of me, boy! Hahaha.. test... speaking of it, reminds me of tht studpid Biology test! 50 MCQ for a 30% weightage of the module.. and another 30% MCQ tests coming up! What the hell are they thinking...?! Hahha.. I sucks big time in Biology, u know.. those plants, life sciences, those jargons.. I can never master tht... had a hard time memorising those "Greek" names and terminology! Haha... if it is Bluey, I believed she'll pass with flying colours...
Hmm.. speaking of Bluey, have nt heard from her for a long time.. SMSed her, but still giving me the "ignore list"! It's like the whole world is ignoring me at this point of my life, boy! When one is down to his core, tht's where the whole world tries to ignore u... hmm... even my parents and mum, seems to be distant from me nowadays...! :( I donno what's wrong.. does she has a problem or is it just me...?! :( I am scared tht the "change" in me had a spillover effect on her... I hope I had not neglect her tht much... yup, those days when I'm in depression mode, I tend to keep things to myself..and coop in my room, and kind of uninterested in many things...
I hope I cld have the chance to rectify things and makes things go back to normal..., insyaallah..
The next two weeks to three weeks are going tobe hell and chaotic for me... with all those deadlines and presentations.. and sharks.. i have nt been reading a lot... Arghh.. must catch up before I am lagging... the war cry is out!!!! Arggghhhhh..hahahhaa, gila! Like real! Yup. no matter what... these desire to achieve and be the best have never fade out.. no matter how depressed I am...
Silat IVP is coming... and will try to be there again... it's ass kicking time.. time to vent all my frustrations, emotional wounds and depressions away!! Hahahaa.. pain is a beauty when one experience the pain... It takes someone who is in pain to be immune to the pain he isgoing to get... Pain can only be cured by pain... hahahha...
Hmm.... I do hope that my prayers are answered.. I am no longer searching or begging for love.. all I ask is a frenship to stay... Hmm.. Bluey, no matter what differences that u have with me, I wish to apologize... I just hope that we'll be frens again..
Chipsmore... I donno why, but I sense that our frenship is drifting apart... why? :(
Don worry, i won't "haunt" u again... with the pleads... or anythg of tht sort... even though those memories are still with me.. and this feeling has nt changed a bit... I have try to come to terms with the change..don worry...
Well... i prayed that all my prayers are answered... insyaallah...
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 11:46 PM
