My Tunnel
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Tired and sleepy.. had been the words for many days..!
Suddenly, I've been made occupied by many things....deadlines are synonymous to my days nowadays!
Perhaps too... the sea of tears had dried up and evaporated to the sky...due to the scorching sun that appear just high above in the sky!
Changes took place a long time ago... but finally, getting on fine with them.
Silence seems golden nowadays... Ignorance is indeed a Bliss...
The value of friendship seems to be questionable lately...
The crown of the dead is sacrificed...and a new soul emerged from the dead!
A life is born...with a new directions heading tothe destinations desired by the mind and soul..
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 12:21 AM
Friday, March 04, 2005
I am not well..just sick in the mind
I am not strong..just weak in the heart to face the realm of reality!
I am not beautiful..just ugly in the eyes of a beholder.
I am anything but ME!
And I am getting tired of not being able to be ME!
What on the earthly joke is Happening?!
A cruel and sickly joke that I've been victimised not by anyone else, but my ownself...ME!
Just gonna lick my wound and to get a LIFE again!
Can I do that?!
If not.. I'll just rot here....!
Get a LIFE!
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 10:50 PM
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
"I,m hm dear.thank u 4 sending me.u tkare dear.lov u lots!" - Sender : xxx , Sent: 21:19:50,
01-03-2005
I was totally lost, dumbfounded and my heart sank when Ireceived that SMS from her...it was right after my training ard 9.30pm, at school... My mind was totally shut down... and I do nt know where I was heading at that point of time... I was crying all my way home, in my heart... My legs were shaking...I was just about to collapse... but makes myself strong enuff to hailed the cab home...
I was crying out "loud" in my heart... :""( Is that a wrong message or a message that was accidentally sent to me, by her? My whole body was weak in the cab.. i felt so lost that the journey home was like an eternity for me...
I just can' think the moment I stepped home.. still "crying" out loud in my heart... i do not want my parents to know..anythg abt y sadness or misery....never.. !
Saw 8 missed calls from her...! I was doing my prayers at that time, hoping to get some answered from Him.. Called her back.. and she explained to me the whole truth... it was a case of mistaken identity...that message was for her best friend... I donno if it was a sigh of relief for me or not.... coz all i know at that point of time is that Allah swt is playing a true test of me and my emotions at that point of time... Why test me a lot when it comes to the affairs ofthe heart? Aren't i be tested enough?!! :"""(
She told me that she had promised that she will tell me if she had found her Mr. Right! I cld never imagine that day if it was too happen... How wld I react..? Would I over reacted...? Am i able to be strong..? I guess no matter how the pain is at that point of time...is she ever gonna let me know that she had found her Mr. Right, I will still try to be strong and hear that breaking news... :'')
I am sorry, Chipsmore.. if u have thought that I over react... coz I am not... believe me... :'''( You will never be able to imagine what goes thru my mind and heart at that point of time... I do hope and pray that ur back will recover as soon as possible...
Bluey... I am sorry too that I may have caused a lot of pain in u too... Believe me, I would never want to lose a fren like u too... Sorry if i misunderstood u... coz I have been praying that ur life will be blessed with all the happiness that u may received...insyaallah...
thanx for all those words of advice and penny of thoughts that u had given me, pal... I appreciate that...
Good Night, world... Please.. blessed all my loved ones and friends with endless happiness and spare them with all those miseries and tests that Life has in store for them... Amin..
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 11:53 PM
