My Tunnel
Monday, May 09, 2005
Nothing much had happened these days... still in the midst of my long term holidays... been slacking at home.. except from my regular Tues and Thurs evenings trainings.. competition's around the corner though...Hope I'll pull through, insyaallah.
Went to PERGAS with my mum...I decided to enrol in the Certificate of Islamic Studies, which starts every Saturdays, starting this July.. The thought of it as a 5 year course challenges me... but the truth is, I'm not going to be fazed on pressurized myself with all those exams and tests that the course has to offer. I just want to learn more about Islam as a Muslim.. I have thought of enroling in it since 4 years ago...but never actually being able to commit myself to that at that point of time. Only recently, when I know of an old and close fren who enrolled in that, that it has opened my heart to take up this course..
Have u ever felt that we are the masters of our own downfall and we have no one else to be blamed except ourselves for the turmoil, sadness and tragedy that befall us? We are the angels of irony... we can never stop running away from the truth and our own feelings.. no matter how hard we try to. Why must we say one thing and meant the other? The memoirs of the past and the tragedy that befalls on us in the past seems to be a shadow to us in the midst of continuing the path that we are taking... If only life is as simple as a stored SMS, retrieve back when we want to read it and put them away when we don want to! But sadly to say, it is not...
I am the Angel of Irony...
Chispmore called all of a sudden, while I was taking a nap... was still in the dazed. I was awfully shocked to hear her...despite the fact that I do want to hear her..I know that it was an impossibility knowing that her hp was spoilt. So.. yeeah..was shocked though! But yeah.. had a 10 mins conversation.. and yup, Chipsmore, I'm looking forward for this weekend.. I have been waiting for this weekend for too long, hoping to hear all your true feelings and words from your own lips..hopefully. everythg will come out of light, insyaallah.. All I do want u to know is that I have never blamed you for anythg, my dear fren... In fact, I'm very sorry if my words and actions lately have truly hurt u.. the truth is, it hurts me more ti know that ur hurt, if u ever will be..
Bluey, there are so much things that I wana said.. but somehow, u just made me feel guilty for the things and moments that u went thru... Sesungguhnya, I have never dictated the things that are going to happen.. all these are suratan takdir... Those memories from the past will still shadowed the future... and no matter how I tried to explain things, I know things will never stay the same as before.. Whatever it is, I do hope that the shadows from the past won't affect this frenship... and yup, i cherished ur frenship.
Daisy, u have been bogged down with all your tight schedules, work and projects lately... nevertheless, I do hope that u won't be so stressed up lest ur migraine attack wil come again.. Do learn to let go some of ur stress... Ur having a test tomo... I wish u all the best and will pray for ur success... Hehe.. whenever I listened to the songs "I'm so Lonely" at the radio, it will put a smile at my face and I will giggled to myself, when I remembered the way u "delivered" that song... Hehehe.., well whatever it is, just hang on tight, k! I believe you'll pull thru these tests.. insyaallah..
Till then... the Angel of Irony will take his leave... as'kum.
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 11:35 PM
