My Tunnel
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
At this point of time, I am totally feeling shity and sucky!!
I donno why human beings (including me) can be so such hypocrites... and liars!!
I donno why Bluey just ignored my call and everythg abt me... I donno if I really did something that grave a mistake that she should do this to me...
Read her yushann blog and yeah... finally I can see that truth in her words.. for a very long time...
And to tell me she didn't love him...when in fact she did and will still do lah! Haha.. I know it does not concern me and me too was a hypocrite and liar too.. at sopme point of time.. we, human beings all do... but yah.. it's not somthing that i am feeling angry or sad reading her confession to her Bear, but yah... feel a bit betrayed by her own words though... Haha.. donno what I am crapping all about!
And to think she yelled " Bloody Hell" to me! What's tht for?! Betrayed by her own words and vows...and oath to cleanse herself from having an sense of hatred and tht kind of thingy...
I donno why she needs to ignore me... and do this to me..for all the concern and care I have given her as a fren..
Just like what u have said... I also have enuff of ur empty and vows to change urself and cleanse urself from any form of hatred... and to think I thought u really have changed and mean whatever u said... Demi allah, I never hate u or have any grudges against u.. U are the master of ur own misery.... jgn salahkan orang lain!
Whatever it is, ur always in my doa.. and I do prayed that ur wound will be healed...
Chipsmore.. I donno what's happening to u... all those silence and all those indifference... Please don worry, I am not expecting or hoping any for of feelings from u... I still don understand why u still "ignored" me.. is it wrong to still be friends?! I have always hope and prayed that u will be with ur loved ones.. as long as ur happy, I am also happy for u .. But ur silence is so deafening... it is becoming from bad to worse... U have changed... a lot! Perhaps, I should have changed too... coz without me realising... the indifference and coldness that u inflict onto me... made me changed so much that I care no hoots of any kind of feelings to anyone... For now, I guess, the only reason I am thriving and living for in this competitive and hypocrite world is because of Allah, and my family...
A lot of things have happened to me... changes do take place... if allah swt sees that as a form of escapism for me, I will accept it with great redha and relief.. insyaallah...
All i hope I don have to hurt any other parties for these changes...
Daisy... silences too?! How hv u been? I do hope that u're in great health with ur loved ones.. I hope u'll be happy with ur current boyfriend.. I prayed for the best of u... Hope ur attachment is going on fine for u..
To all.. do take care...
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 2:03 PM
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Definition
tire (LOSE ENERGY)
verb [I or T]
to begin to feel as if you have no energy and want to rest or go to sleep, or to make someone feel this way:
tired
adjective
in need of rest or sleep:
Hahaha.. this is exactly how i feel rite now, peeps! Haha..Well, oh well... let me see, it's been more than a month since I last post an entry here.. and a "special and ardent fan" of mine.. hahahah.. keeps asking me, "Hey.. whn are u going to update ur blog lah... ur blog is so boring.. and yabada-yabada-yabada.."!! Hehehe.. but well, oh well... I kept telling her, well, yah.. I will, I will.. and here I am.. updating this blog after more than a month giving it a miss! ;) So here u are, Bluey.... (which is also the "graphic artist" of this blog") hehehe... well, have to gv her the credits mah.. for making this blog enticing to me to pen down my craps! Haha
Well, oh well.. today was the first day of the super "lamest" week.. for me. the School Experience Week... what crap is tht?! Haha.. basically, it is just to gv u a taste of what school environment is all about... don't u find it lame?! All i did today was to talk to some CTs and yakety-yakety yak.. with them.. and sit in at the end of the classes doing some silly things like dwiddling my pen, and scribbling ard... and at the same time listening to the teachers.. yawns... where's my sleep?! Haha.. It was such a hot day and I was looking high and low for a cold drink in the primary school.. and to my disbelief.. the school canteen vendors do not sell cold drinks!! What!! And I have to go for second best which is like Milo drink.. and just as when u were relishing the temptation of drinking a cold drink of Ice Millo on a super hot day... good riddance! All they sold to u was a packet of milo drink.. straight from the box!
But still.. those kids are a joy to watch..especially the Primary 1 and 2 kids... but ermm.. Primary 5 and 6 kids.. especially the gals.. ermm.. I wld definitely find it hard to teach those "mentels" gals... haha.. awkward.. if u get what i mean.. haha..
Sigh.. 1 down, 3 days to go... and yup.. hope there'll be a totally "interesting" day tomo...
Ciao..peeps!
CrAsHbUrN was in @ 2:31 PM
